Blogger's note: Significant spoilers for the ending.


    Wanted was a movie that tricked me fair and square. When I first saw the trailer, I thought it would be an action-packed, awesome movie that I would watch in the theaters and later own. Well, I saw it in the theaters, and afterwards I never wanted to watch it again. I hate this movie even more than Room 6, because even though Room 6 had plenty of plotholes, they didn't have enough plotholes to completely destroy the film.

    Before I tear this movie a new one, I will briefly touch on the only two good points on this movie-the action and a woman named Fox. Not because Angelina Jolie plays this character, but because this is the only character who makes any kind of sense in this drivel.

    Anyway, this is what the tangled mess of a film is about: Wesley Gibson is a nobody who googles his own name and comes up with zero results (I find that highly dubious given that Wesley Gibson is not an uncommon name, but whatever). But as it turns out, his recently-murdered father is an assassin with special abilities, and more assassins (called the Fraternity) ask Wesley to join them so they can track down his father's killer. These people generally target people who might one day cause tragedy in the future. How do they get this important information, you might ask?

    (Insert sonic voice) THROUGH A MYSTICAL LOOM OF FAAAATE.....(end sonic voice)

    There are a lot of things not explained in this movie. Where did they even get a loom of fate? Not explained. How can they curve bullets? Not explained. How can they miraculously heal from near-fatal wounds with a quick dip in the bathtub and some candle wax? Not explained. All of these are somewhat forgivable, except for one thing.

    Towards the end of the movie, Wesley has found his father's killer and is ready to kill him. The leader of the Fraternity, Sloan, gives Wesley the location...and then orders another assassin named Fox to kill Wesley afterwards. It turns out Wesley is pursuing his actual father, you see, who went rogue against the Fraternity. Killing Wesley is a means to tie up loose ends.

    Oh dear, where do I start?

    First of all, if Sloan's master plan was to kill Wesley, why the hell did he bother to train the guy for weeks, if not months? Secondly, Wesley showed absolutely no sign of betraying the Fraternity, and since he's an assassin there is a good chance he might have killed his father without ever knowing the terrible truth. Third, yeah, okay, Sloan gives some B.S about Wesley being the only person who can kill his father, which is simply not true. At the start of the movie, Fox has a firefight with Wesley's father, and beats him!

    This movie is based on a comic book, and it really isn't similar (and no, I don't care if the writer says differently!) For starters in the comic book both the Fraternity and Wesley are evil and there is no ‘killing for a greater cause' involved. Which means, of course, there is no magic loom of fate!

    YAAAY!

Final Grade: 2 stars out of 5. It really confuses me that people actually love this movie. The only reason it gets two stars is because the action is kind of cool.

Towards the end of the movie, Wesley looks at the camera and says to the audience, 'This is me taking back control of my life. What the f*** have you done lately?' Screw you, Wesley, at least my friends don't get me to do something and then try to kill me five minutes later. That must make you feel very 'wanted'.