Sunday, December 13, 2009

Movie Review-Room 6

Warning: This review has significant spoilers for the movie, including the ending. I had to dig really deep to explain why I hated this one.

Before I can really start the review, I first have to explain what a POV is.

POV (or point-of-view) is a viewpoint of one character that cannot be shared. In the writing world, it's okay for different POVs to be in a novel or story, but not okay for them to be in the same scene. Say for example you and I were in a room talking about an accident you had from work. I could talk and think about the accident, but I couldn't know your thoughts about what happened. Sure, you could tell me about it, but that still wouldn't be the same since I wasn't there. To be fair, multiple POVs is an easy mistake to make in writing, but that's why we have editors (or should have, anyway). You would think that in a movie, it would be virtually impossible to break this rule (since movies are usually told from no one's POV), but trust me, Room 6 finds a way. 

Room 6, not to be confused with 1408 or the number 6, is told from the perspective of Amy Roberts, a teacher who has hospital phobia. After a horrific crash, Amy's boyfriend, Nick, is taken to St. Rosemary's hospital, which supposedly doesn't exist and Amy can't find. While at St. Rosemary's, Nick realizes that all isn't quite right when fellow male patients start disappearing, and the hospital is in fact run by half-naked lesbian vampire nurses. Yeah, you heard me. This is a plot point which has absolutely no significance later, but hey, we need a reason for Nick to hate St. Rosemary's.

I have to admit, the idea of people being taken to fictional hospitals is an interesting concept, but that's the only redeemable feature in this mess. The acting is bad. The only one who tries is Jerry O'Connell, who is at that point still trying to find a career after Sliders. But his character is both predictable and completely pointless, so it's irrelevant. We have typical cliches, the worst being a cop who *gasp* doesn't believe Amy's story of a kidnapped boyfriend. But the real reason I hate this movie has yet to come.

Long story short, Amy overcomes her fears and enters the hospitals (which now has zombies too apparently). Nick is paralyzed and is about to be operated on. Why? I don't know, the villains are obligated to be evil. Fortunately Amy finds him just in time and saves the day. They escape the hospital all fades to white and Nick wakes up at the car crash scene. In fact it has been Amy who is gravely injured and about to die. Since she killed her dad (sort of) the whole movie was a test to see if she joined heaven or hell.

So here's the million dollar question-if that was true, then why the hell was half the movie told from Nick's POV? At no point did Amy give any indication that she knew things from Nick's POV. If she did she would have known exactly where he was hours ago, and which floor he was on when she entered Saint Rosemary's!

There are more problems than just that. For example, why was Amy having a dream about being paralyzed on the operating table if it happened to Nick hours later? Why were other male patients introduced if they were going to disappear five seconds later? Why did we bother to learn the history of St. Rosemary's if it wasn't real to begin with? Why bother showing Nick proposing to Amy at the beginning of the film if she was just going to die at the end? Why did I bother to watch this movie????

Bottom Line: 0 stars out of 5.

Coming soon:  horror movies sequels you probably didn't know even existed.

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